First Week in the NICU

This time last year my girls were having their first week in the NICU. The first week was very hard for me. I cried every time I entered into the NICU and looked at Abigail and Elizabeth. I felt helpless and lost. I was recovering from my C-section and hormonal and my children were fighting for their lives.  It was an all time low. 

The first week was very hard. My girls had test after test. They got blood transfusions and X-rays of every part of their bodies. I signed papers that were handed to me by doctors and I didn't really understand what they were even for. I cried every day and I didn't get much sleep. 

The NICU nurses were amazing despite everything I was going through.  They would offer me a chair and tissues if I needed them. They encouraged me from the beginning to touch and talk to my girls. They taught me how to handle them and they helped me learn what all the monitors and alarms meant. I can still hear the monitor beeps in my head. They motivated me to keep pumping and answered any questions I had. 

As the days went on and even as the weeks went on it did get better. To any NICU moms out there my recommendation to you is to ask lots of questions and spend as much time with your  baby as you can. Place your hand on your baby and talk to them. Cry if you need to. It is okay. The NICU nurses are a great resource to you. Don't be afraid to talk to them.  It helped me out tremendously.  

Elizabeth and the Dog

Since the day we brought Elizabeth home there has  been something special between her and my dog. My dog Lucy is 5 years old and I adopted her from an animal shelter when she was about 6 months old. The day we brought Elizabeth home Lucy would come and sit right next to her. When I took Elizabeth to a doctors appointment Lucy would cry at the front door. The other day Elizabeth was crying a little because get tummy hurt and Lucy started to cry too. The two of them are really something special. Elizabeth will talk to Lucy and laugh big belly laughs at her. Lucy was my best pal around the house, but I think she has a new favorite person. 

Animals are amazing. It's like Lucy knew Elizabeth was going to love her the moment he came home from the hospital. There little friendship has been so cute to watch. I can't wait to hear Elizabeth say Lucy's name and see them walk around together. 

Happy Birthday!

Happy 1st Birthday to my beautiful girls!

This has been a crazy year and my girls had to fight very hard, but we have made it to a big milestone.  Check out some pictures from today. I think they know today is special. 

Our first cupcake. Thanks grandpa! 

The Night Before My Delivery

This time last year I was laying in the hospital praying that my contractions would stop. My mom and my husband Dan sat with me in my hospital room trying to console me any way possible. I cried my eyes out and tried to be strong during my contractions.  It was the second time my contractions started , but this time the doctors wouldn't stop them in fear of the health of my babies. 

It was honestly the worst night of my life.  The doctors told me that night that I would be going in for a C-Section first thing in the morning. My doctors talked to the NICU and they planned for a 6 AM delivery time. My delivery was based on the availability of the NICU doctors and nurses because they needed a team big enough to take care of my girls. They explained to me that each girl would have their own team of doctors and nurses.  

That night the hospital Pastor came to talk to me, as he did several times during my bed rest days. He said something to me that totally turned around my sorrow and helped me to focus on what was ahead. He told me that I did my best and that this chapter was over. He told me that I needed to focus on the next chapter, the birth of my girls. He was right. I will never forget what he said and the support he gave me. God knew I needed to hear those words at that exact time. 

I spent the rest of the night dealing with contractions and trying to get mentally prepared. The next morning the team got ready and my girls were born. 

When Pastor David told me to focus on the next chapter it was truly the best advice for me. It is something I do every day. The girls still have a long road ahead of them, but they are doing great. I feel so blessed. Abigail and Elizabeth will be 1 year old tomorrow. It has been the hardest, saddest, scariest, and most challenging year of my life, but it has also been the best. My girls are a blessing and have made my life complete. I was put on this earth to be their mom and it is the best job in the world. 

Abigail Lynn Turner 

Elizabeth Sue Turner

*These pictures were taken after several weeks in the NICU.  I have pictures of the girls when they were first born, but it is still hard for me to look at them.  

Happy Respiratory Care Week!

Happy Respiratory Care week! 

 

I want to personally thank all the respiratory therapists that took such good care of my girls when they were in the hospital. 

In honor of the week I decided I would make this post all about the girls reparatory past.

The first picture is the vent called the oscillator. It is the vent that the girls were on when they were first born. Abigail also was put on it later on when she was at Hopkins and her lungs collapsed and she got very sick. The oscillator shakes your body and your lungs a little, but it is very gentle on the lungs even though it might not look like it. The only problem is that you have to be sedated in order for the machine to work properly. The idea is for the machine to do all the work for you. 

 Later on my girls transitioned to the conventional vent.  While on the conventional vent they were intubated and then later put on the CPAP (continuous positive  airway pressue). The CPAP is a type of mask that almost looks like you are out snorkeling. As their lungs got stronger they were lastly able to transition to the nasal cannula. Abigail still has a nasal cannula for when she sleeps at night. We have an oxygen machine in our house that is electric and makes oxygen out of the air. Here is a picture of a conventional vent. 

I am so thankful for all of the therapist hard work. I have a special place in my heart for the respiratory therapist team at Hopkins. You took such great care of Abigail when she was so sick. You are amazing! 

A Simple Message...

It's so hard for me to believe that this time last year I was still on bed rest in the hospital. Today would be day 10. I remember counting the days that went by and praying for just one more. 

 My girls will be 1 year old on Friday. I can hardly believe it. The year has gone by so fast. I read this and it made me smile. It pretty much sums up how I feel and my experience the last year. 

Touch Shy

When Abigail came home from the hospital she was very touch shy. She would cry every time her diaper was changed. It took several weeks after she was home for her to be comfortable with getting changed.  I had to sing to her and change her diaper as quickly as I could to try to make the experience easier on  her. I even went out and bought a wipe warmer in an attempt to help. 

When she was in the hospital she would drop her oxygen level or increase her heart rate when nurses checked on her. All they had to do was approach her and her levels would change.  It was explained to me that some premature babies have difficulty with touch. Abigail was touched during a time that she should have been in the womb, so her body just was not ready to be handled.  

Abigail still isn't a very cuddly baby, but she doesn't mind being changed or handled anymore which is great news. She is still very independent and at times needs her alone play time, but that's alright with me. :) She is perfect just the way she is! 

Liquid Gold- Breast Milk

I saw this and couldn't help but to laugh. It is so true. I have spilled some and wanted to cry! 

I pumped until the girls were a little older than 6 months.  It got to be too much when they were both home and I was working. I tried my best to pump 2 to 3 times at work, but then I would have to get up a couple of times during the night to make up the difference and it just got to be too much with taking care of twins. 

I am very proud of my pumping though. During the NICU days all I could really do for them was pump.  One thing that can happen to premature babies is something called Necrotizing Enterocolitis or NEC. It is extremely dangerous and it can be life threatening. NEC is an infection that causes destruction of the bowel.  The one thing that has proven to help prevent it is breast milk. Once the doctors gave me that info my number one goal became to pump like crazy. 

 I had a pump that I kept at the Ronald McDonald House and then the hospital let me use one while I was there. The NICU nurses love breast milk and often the very first thing they would say to me before even hello was, " Do you have any fresh?" And most of the time I did. 

Looking back I am proud of myself. Pumping can be hard work. I am happy to say that I feed my twins the entire time they were in the NICU. They both never got NEC and I know in my heart it is because of the breast milk. 

To any NICU moms out there I really recommend trying to pump. I know it is hard work and it is difficult with everything that is going on and all the emotions you are experiencing, but it truly can make a difference. 

She has Brains and Beauty!

Watch Liz play with her new toy! This makes me so happy!

Big girl!

After weeks and weeks of physical therapy Abigail finally decided she was ready to sit on her own! I am so full of joy!     

A year ago in the hospital I found out that Abigail was a girl. I knew what gender Elizabeth was, but it was not until my bed rest in the hospital that I knew what my other twin was. Figures of all days Abigail would decide to sit on her own. :) 

Pumpkins!

Just because we can't actually go out Trick-or-Treating doesn't mean we can't have fun dressing up! 

Aren't they the cutest pumpkins you've ever seen?! 

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today I went to my local hospital in a panic and ended up getting medevaced to Baltimore a few hours later. That was one of the scariest days of my life. I was just 23 weeks pregnant at the time. Once I arrived at University of Maryland Hospital I stayed in a Labor and Delivery  ICU area. It was for other women having serious issues with their pregnancy and required careful monitoring. A woman in the room next to me for example  had some type of surgery while she was pregnant and was there recovering. After spending 3 days there I finally got  moved to my own room. I would spend the next 2 weeks there on full bed rest until the day the girls were born. 

I don't really like to think about that time. It was truly a miserable and terrifying first 3 nights at Maryland for me, but I am stronger because of it. I thank God for the medicine that stopped my labor because without it my girls would not be here. 

During that time a NICU doctor came to talk to me to discuss what might happen if I have my babies premature. She informed me of the risks and the challenges associated with prematurity.   She terrified me and it took everything out of me not to burst into tears. 

Despite everything I went through there are some people that truly touched my life during that time. 

To the two male paramedics that went with me on my helicopter flight you have no idea how grateful I am for your kindness. It was a very stressful time and your calmness helped me to stay calm too. Thank you. 

To the nurses at Maryland in the labor and delivery wing, you made me laugh when I was sad and you came to visit with me when I was lonely. And most importantly you comforted me when I was scared.  I will never forget that.  You all hold a special place in my heart!

My delivery journey was a scary one.    I  just focus on the now and on my two beautiful girls. 

Appointments and more Appointments

Today I actually wrote down all of Abigail and Elizabeth's doctors appointments from now until November. I have all these appointments written in my calendar, but seeing them all listed together really makes me realize how crazy my life is these days. 

Busy Busy!

I feel like it has been a long week already and it's only Monday! My husband Dan is out of town and I have been doing my best to hold down the fort. Abigail and Elizabeth are both busy babies and they are starting to become jealous of one another. They love to play and they can really tire you out.  A big THANK YOU to my wonderful mother for all of your help while Dan has been away! 

We have been very busy with appointments latley. Thursday we went to the Audiologist and we learned some new info. Elizabeth needs to get an ABR (auditory brainstem response) test done in November. I am not looking forward to that at all. They will have to put her under for it.  Tomorrow the girls have an eye exam and then later in the month Abigail has a GI appointment. Abigail  also gets her first sleep study in a few weeks too. Keep your fingers crossed for us! 

I am quickly running out of leave at work and it's only October, but I have no other choice. The girls need to see these specialist and it's my top priority. 

On a side note... 18 days until the girls turn 1 year old!  :) 

                    The girls love to eat!

Ready, Set, Cocoon

The girls are officially Cocooning! Cocooning is a strategy for protecting infants from infectious diseases, by vaccinating those in close contact with them. The girl’s doctors have recommended that all relatives and caregivers get vaccinated before coming into contact with them. We have made this rule because it is the safest thing for the girls and also because their pulmonologist said so. Starting this month, the only people allowed to be around the girls are people who have had the a flu shot and people that are not currently sick. This isn’t personal folks! We are just following their doctor’s orders. If someone does has to come into contact with them that doesn’t have the flu shot then they must wear a mask. For example, I recently learned that one of the girl’s therapists doesn’t get the flu shot, so she knows that she has to wear a mask as recommended by the CDC when she works with them during their therapy session. They will be cocooning for several months, most likely until March. The girls have already had their flu shot and they will also be getting the RSV vaccine each month for the entire length of RSV season. The RSV vaccine is really expensive and health care insurances do not like to pay for it, but I went out of my way to get the referrals they needed so they can get it. Flu season is very dangerous for my girls. So dangerous that if they got the flu that would be in the hospital and they would most likely be in the ICU. As part of the girls cocooning they will also not be going anywhere. The safest place for the girls is in our home. Again this isn’t personal. This is for Abigail and Elizabeth’s wellbeing. You can say I am crazy or overreacting…but really I am just following what the doctors is telling me to do. I appreciate your support during this time. This isn’t fun for us and actually it is a lot more work for me, but like I have said before I will do ANYTHING the girls need!

World Cerebral Palsy Day

Today is World Cerebral Palsy Day. 17 million people live with CP and my Elizabeth is one of them. We are new to this world of CP and we have a long road ahead of us. I am just so thankful for the wonderful team of doctors we have and for the therapist that work with her.

Kennedy Krieger posted this image today on their facebook page. Check it out to learn a little about CP. 

NICU Follow-Up

Yesterday the girls had their 3rd NICU Follow-Up appointment at Kennedy Krieger. I always find the NICU Follow-Up appointments very insightful. We always seem to learn something new. Yesterday the team gave us some new information on things to work on and we also got a new diagnosis. We left the appointment with 3 new referrals to see some new doctors too. It's hard to believe there is actually doctors we haven't seen yet, but it's true. 

The truth is we are still learning what Abigail and Elizabeth need and as time passes their needs will change even more. It's a long process and a long road ahead.  I just keep focused on doing whatever it is that they need and I say thankful for the growth they have made so far. 

If you are a NICU or preemie mom I really recommend trying to keep up with the NICU Follow-Up appointments. I have heard some parents stop going, but I personally think it is worth it.  

After the NICU Follow-Up appointment we headed to the pediatrician. The girls love the sound the paper makes.